Queen Obukoko, a 30-year-old intersex Nigerian woman, has opened up about her life, the challenges of her unique condition, and her dreams of a future with a man she loves.
Born with both male and female sexual organs, Obukoko has faced a lifetime of stigma, discrimination, and heartbreak in her pursuit of love and acceptance.
Growing up, Obukoko always knew she was different. Although she appeared female, her deep voice and a penis-like growth around her groin set her apart. Her parents, initially believing the growth was benign, tried various remedies without success. It wasn’t until she was 15 that she fully became aware of her condition.
“I was playing with friends at school when I felt the urge to urinate,” she recalled in a recentn interview with Punch newspaper.
“The sensation came from my male genital, and as I stood to relieve myself, my friends were shocked. They called others to witness, and the incident marked the beginning of a new chapter of embarrassment and self-consciousness for me.”
Obukoko’s struggle didn’t end there. The stigma associated with being intersex haunted her, especially in public spaces where people questioned her for standing to urinate.
On one occasion, a passer-by recorded a video of her and posted it online, leading to widespread ridicule. This prompted her to publicly reveal her intersex identity in an effort to take control of her narrative.
Her condition also posed significant challenges in her romantic relationships. Obukoko recounted how men often abandoned her or exploited her condition once they discovered she was intersex.
“Some men would pretend to be okay with it, but after seeing my body, they’d run away. Others took pictures and blackmailed me for money,” she said.
Disillusioned by these experiences, Obukoko turned to dating women, which led to the birth of two children. However, these relationships also ended in heartbreak, with one partner leaving her because she was ashamed to reveal that an intersex person fathered her child.
Today, Obukoko faces a new challenge. Her newborn daughter, just a month old, appears to have inherited her intersex traits. “I don’t want my child to go through what I’m experiencing,” she said, expressing her fear and confusion about the future.
Despite the challenges, Obukoko remains hopeful about the future. She dreams of undergoing gender reassignment surgery and one day marrying a man she loves, living a life free from stigma and full of acceptance.
